Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Looking forward...and getting out of my own way

I have only one goal for the coming year:

To get out of my own damn way.

In 2014, I accomplished a lot. But not enough. (Never enough.)

Sometimes I can’t do more. But sometimes I can. And this is the year I'll capitalize on that “can” a little more.
I have to learn how to shake off my moods more. I need to remember that writing something well can even fix some of these moods.

I have to set aside writing time every single day. And during that time, I have to actually get up when I’m supposed to and be productive in a writerly way. If I’m not writing, I’m outlining, researching, strategizing, revising, editing, or doing marketing-related things. I can’t be Sephoraing, emailing, iTunesing, or dozing off. Writing time means doing writing activities, period.

I have to kick fear to the curb. (Would Emerson ever let fear stop her? I don’t think so.) Fear of being a bad writer, or fear of being a good writer—it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I am a writer, and that means I write (and edit, and revise…etc.). I can always fix bad writing, or take a few minutes to wrap my head around it and become comfortable with it if it’s really good. But I can’t—and I won’t—be afraid of my own words or thoughts any longer.

I have to trust my instincts, just like Emerson does. She learned it from me, and now I have to re-learn it from her.

Although this seems counterintuitive to my goals, I have to be okay with downtime. Sometimes I need it. But I should only take it when I need it. Not when I’m just feeling a little lazy and I want a little downtime. I don’t actually need it then—instead, I need direction. Even if it’s just accomplishing one small task, that’ll be better than accomplishing squat.

I have to remember how much I want this.

I have to remember why I want this.

I have to remember what happens if I don’t accomplish my goals.

And I can’t let anyone, or anything—including, and especially, myself—bring me down so far that I can’t do what I need to do.

I can’t, and I won’t.

I will not be my own roadblock.

Instead, I’ll be my own green light.

And now…it’s go time.

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