Monday, January 12, 2015

Silencing that voice.

Too often, I feel like I’m metaphorically smushing my palms to my ears and yelling “LALALALALA!!!!” as loudly as possible.

It’s all because I’m trying to conquer the voice in my head. You know the one. It’s the voice that says:

You can’t.

That’ll never work.

You’re not qualified for that.

What a stupid idea.

I’m fighting back against that voice, starting today. Not by shouting, but by talking back in a rational way. And now, I say:

Others have done it. Why not me?

If it doesn’t work, at least I tried. (And then I’ll try again.)

I may not know all I need to know right now, but I’m learning.

I won’t know if it’s truly a stupid idea until I try.

Actually, I can.

That voice is the mindset of those who don’t dare, don’t dream, and don’t do. And it needs to STFU, pronto, so that I can get back to dreaming, daring, and doing.

That voice is the thoughts of a frightened child, a worrywart, or someone who is afraid to fail. I cannot be afraid to fail. If I fail, what do I lose? The time spent learning and doing? The small amount of money I spent on things like informational courses and books? All of that is worth the risk.

I can drown out that voice with my own. I can counter the irrational points with rational ones. That voice doesn’t like to be talked back to, and in time, it’ll go away if I keep effectively countering its points. It won’t go away if I try to push it into some cobwebby corner of my mind and pretend it’s gone away even though I know it’s over there, lurking in the dark, ready to make itself known at the worst possible time.

Fighting back feels weird. It feels like I’m doing something wrong or being disobedient. But I have a voice of my own that’s worth being heard, just like I have ideas worth exploring.

If I fight back enough, using my own words, at some point I won’t need to fight anymore. That voice will be silenced. 

Today is the start of my journey toward having one voice, and one voice only, in my head: