It's been a rough few days, and I don't even know why.
I can list a few reasons why. It's not easy to write a book while working a demanding full-time job, for example. Life's not easy to handle when I get glutened and/or dairied and, as a result, in addition to the stomach-sickness, bloat up so that I appear to be 7 months pregnant. (I'm not pregnant. I'm also not fat. But if I get unintentionally glutened or dairied, I could be mistaken for either pregnant or fat.) Write a book? Hahaha, such a lofty goal. First, let's try to fit my enormous stomach into my jeans!
The new Muse album came out this past week. I've been listening to it nonstop. I can't listen to the whole thing straight through. It's too much, too emotional, too heavy...too much to handle all at once. It's more proof that Matthew Bellamy is a genius--he creates stuff that make people feel this way, music that almost borders on making people feel too much. I wonder if eventually I'll treat this album like an Elliott Smith album: So, so very good, but I simply can't handle listening to it because it's just too much to bear.
I have to get myself into some sort of rhythm, some type of schedule, to write more Emerson. But days like today, it's tough to even brush my hair or take a shower. I did both, but it wasn't easy, and it took much more time than usual; I've also spent a lot of time today staring at the walls. I don't even know what I'm thinking about in those moments; the thoughts fly by so quickly, and I'm rarely able to catch one as it sails past.