Sunday, October 7, 2012

In a funk.

It's been a rough few days, and I don't even know why.

I can list a few reasons why.  It's not easy to write a book while working a demanding full-time job, for example.  Life's not easy to handle when I get glutened and/or dairied and, as a result, in addition to the stomach-sickness, bloat up so that I appear to be 7 months pregnant.  (I'm not pregnant.  I'm also not fat.  But if I get unintentionally glutened or dairied, I could be mistaken for either pregnant or fat.)  Write a book?  Hahaha, such a lofty goal.  First, let's try to fit my enormous stomach into my jeans!

The new Muse album came out this past week.  I've been listening to it nonstop.  I can't listen to the whole thing straight through.  It's too much, too emotional, too heavy...too much to handle all at once.  It's more proof that Matthew Bellamy is a genius--he creates stuff that make people feel this way, music that almost borders on making people feel too much.  I wonder if eventually I'll treat this album like an Elliott Smith album: So, so very good, but I simply can't handle listening to it because it's just too much to bear.

I have to get myself into some sort of rhythm, some type of schedule, to write more Emerson.  But days like today, it's tough to even brush my hair or take a shower.  I did both, but it wasn't easy, and it took much more time than usual; I've also spent a lot of time today staring at the walls.  I don't even know what I'm thinking about in those moments; the thoughts fly by so quickly, and I'm rarely able to catch one as it sails past.

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