I have only one goal for the coming year:
To get out of my own damn way.
In 2014, I accomplished a lot. But not enough. (Never
enough.)
Sometimes I can’t do more. But sometimes I can. And this is
the year I'll capitalize on that “can” a little more.
I have to learn how to shake off my moods more. I need to
remember that writing something well can even fix some of these moods.
I have to set aside writing time every single day. And
during that time, I have to actually get up when I’m supposed to and be productive
in a writerly way. If I’m not writing, I’m outlining, researching,
strategizing, revising, editing, or doing marketing-related things. I can’t be
Sephoraing, emailing, iTunesing, or dozing off. Writing time means doing
writing activities, period.
I have to kick fear to the curb. (Would Emerson ever let
fear stop her? I don’t think so.) Fear of being a bad writer, or fear of being
a good writer—it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I am a writer, and
that means I write (and edit, and revise…etc.). I can always fix bad writing,
or take a few minutes to wrap my head around it and become comfortable with it
if it’s really good. But I can’t—and I won’t—be afraid of my own words or
thoughts any longer.
I have to trust my instincts, just like Emerson does. She
learned it from me, and now I have to re-learn it from her.
Although this seems counterintuitive to my goals, I have to
be okay with downtime. Sometimes I need it. But I should only take it when I
need it. Not when I’m just feeling a little lazy and I want a little downtime.
I don’t actually need it then—instead, I need direction. Even if it’s just
accomplishing one small task, that’ll be better than accomplishing squat.
I have to remember how
much I want this.
I have to remember why
I want this.
I have to remember what
happens if I don’t accomplish my goals.
And I can’t let anyone, or anything—including, and
especially, myself—bring me down so far that I can’t do what I need to do.
I can’t, and I won’t.
I will not be my own roadblock.
Instead, I’ll be my own green light.
And now…it’s go time.
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